When you are living with chronic pain, complex PTSD, and severe OCD, the mind can become a very difficult place to manage. Trust is something that has been deeply compromised for me recently, and when I am in the middle of a health flare-up or a period of high dissociation, my brain often goes to the "worst-case scenario" out of a fear of being left without support for the animals that mean everything to me.
After speaking with a friend and re-listening to the recording of my conversation, I realized I had misinterpreted the terms discussed. To be clear: I now understand that I am responsible for a 20 percent copayment, which means the the other 80 percent, as is covered . I was confused by the math in the moment, but that was entirely on me, and I deeply regret expressing that confusion publicly.
I am sharing this because I know I am not alone in experiencing how mental health challenges like impulsivity or the tendency to overanalyze can impact our actions. It is a daily practice for me to learn to ask questions rather than jumping to conclusions, but that is difficult when I feel like my access to care is constantly at risk.
My dogs are my life. They are medically necessary for my well-being, and they are the only things that keep me grounded. I am sincerely grateful for those who are stepping up to ensure they continue to receive the care they need. I am working hard to rebuild my trust in the process and in the people involved, even when it is hard to stay calm.
Thank you to those who have been patient with me while I navigate these intense emotions. I am committed to moving forward with clear communication and focusing entirely on the health and happiness of my senior dog and my puppy.
Fibromyalgia complex PTSD and OCD is severely hard and it's complex and its hard to cope manage at times.
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